denial
by paperplanet
Summary: He's in denial, they said running was what he's best at. They're probably right, but there's no running from her when she's dead.


Disclaimer: Do not own Young Justice.

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**"_This is my way of saying goodbye / Because I can't do it face to face_"**

**- Radiohead, 'Videotape'.**

* * *

"She's dead."

What Dick had expected to see from his best friend of years were violent reactions, denial, grief, and anger. What he hadn't expected to see from him, was this calmness that seemed to wash over him—he hadn't expected to see his best friend's lips curl upward in this small serene smile. And he certainly hadn't expected to hear his small—"Oh."

Kaldur spoke up again, and Dick could tell he was not the only one who was surprised because of Wally's responses. "Her body will be transported here tomorrow. I'm really sorry."

Wally shrugged his shoulders, "It's okay," he said, slowly. "It's what she wanted, to die as a hero."

Kaldur looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead he settled with sending the Speedster to rest.

.

It was suppossed to be a simple mission. Dick had went with Kaldur and Artemis with low expectations, while M'gann, Conner and Wally had been sent for another case in Gotham. But at the end, she was human. At the end, bullets were still bullets. And at the end, she was still a kid. _/they were all kids./_

.

Wally acted as if nothing was wrong and it was terrifying. It was horrible to see him flirting with M'gann (_to_ M'gann, since the other didn't response due to awkwardness and grief), watch the television while stuffing himself with food, and train in the gym as if _she_ hadn't died.

Conner gritted his teeth in frustation as he saw Wally playing video games with ease—and said, "I thought you loved her."

In which, the other had looked up and responded with a simple. "I do."

The Clone glared at the red-head angrily. "Then stop all of this nonsense."

"People die," Wally said lowly, picking himself up from where he was sitting and walked pass Superboy calmly. "That's just the way it works."

.

"What are you doing, really?"

Wally grinned at him. "Hey Robin, wanna join me?"

Dick shook his head, and continued to watch as the other threw another series of kicks to a defenseless dummy in the middle of the room.

"I—need-to—get—in—shape-," he said in between harsh kicks, and Dick resisted the urge to growl that he was in a better shape than _hers_ and that it was the least he should worry about right then.

So he walked up to the speedster and punched him. Hard.

"She's dead," he almost screamed the words out (or maybe he did). Because there was a twisting sensation of loss in his gut and he couldn't bear another minute watching his best friend putting up that tough front and—_she's dead..._

Wally's shoulders were hunched and he wiped the blood from his bleeding lips as he answered. "I know."

_(later on Dick realised that he didn't dodge, not a bit.)_

.

It was her funeral, but his expression was still solemn.

.

It was later that night they witnessed him broke down.

They hadn't meant to, honestly. They just decided to take a walk down the beach—because suddenly the cave felt empty and foreign and _she was everwhere_.

That's when he saw him. He was kneeling with his head in his hands and they could hear heart-wrenching chocking sounds—all facade gone, he was a mess.

He was screaming and screaming her name as if by doing so she would be back.

(_because they were standing at Wally's and Artemis' spot, and Dick remembered that. Wally had went on about how she loved the sunset there—and it's hard to forget that when the speedster had talked about their first date for hours_)

Dick slowly approached him, and the others followed—their hearts in their throats and they couldn't speak and they couldn't stand seeing him like that.

So...

..._damaged._

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I should have been there," it was out of his mouth like a mantra, if he actually believed in magic to begin with and—"It should have been me."

"—Wally." Kaldur said, partly because he didn't know what else to say, and he wasn't the only one. M'gann had started to cry again whereas Dick and Conner were absolutely lost.

"You know what's funny? I can't even keep my promise to you, can I? I can't even stop myself from crying like a sissy over your death—that's what you asked, because you didn't like to see me grieving but I...damn it Arty," his voice was hoarse and his whole body was shaking—"I'm sorry I'm sorry—I'm selfish, aren't I? You're probably in a better place if you still believe in after life and all that stuffs, but—oh," he laughed bitterly. "The things I would give up to have another second with you."

And then he was screaming again.

People die, but it was just something that Wally West wouldn't get over anytime soon.

_/Please tell him they're lying, please tell him she's alive./_

Because of all the things he still hadn't get to say to her, 'I love you' was on top of the list.

_/He's in denial, they said running was what he's best at. They're probably right, but there's no running from her./_

_I love you, I miss you, and I'm sorry._

_Please come back._

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_A/N: Sorry because this is highly out of character and boring and awful. This is just something I have to get out of my head-and with a small amount of time, this is what I got.  
_


End file.
